By William & Victoria Wine Bar & Restaurant
Harrogate, we need to talk about cheese. And not just cheese—fruit, vegetables, and all manner of early-morning deliveries that help our restaurant survive and thrive. Over the past few years, we’ve been battling an increasingly brazen band of delivery looters who seem to think our fresh produce is their free buffet.
Now, let’s set the scene. Imagine us, bleary-eyed, armed with nothing but determination and a slightly ridiculous love for dairy, tracking rogue blocks of brie like some kind of lactose-fuelled Sherlock Holmes. Yes, this is real life.
Criminals and Camembert
To fight this crime wave, we’ve done everything short of hiring a cheese bodyguard. Cameras? Installed. Lock boxes? Secured. Delivery patterns? Changed. And yet, our masked marauders persist, arriving on bikes like a sinister milk mafia.
So, we set a trap. Armed with an AirTag and a block of cheese, we turned the tables. And oh, what a journey it’s been.
• Friday: Our cheese is swiped at 7:30 a.m. (RIP, Brie). The AirTag leads us to a property near Asda. We take a photo of the door like we’re paparazzi for the dairy underworld.
• Saturday: The cheese moves again. This time, to a dishevelled house half a mile away. We find bikes matching our CCTV footage and another suspiciously run-down door. No knock. Just notes.
• Sunday: The cheese migrates downtown. We chase it through back alleys, businesses, and bins, but it remains elusive.
• Monday: The cheese relocates to the outskirts of town, now resting at a property with a pile of discarded mattresses in the garden. Its AirTag signal blinks defiantly.
What's the big deal?
We’re sure this all sounds a bit comical, and believe us, we’ve had a laugh too (because if you can’t laugh while tracking stolen cheese, when can you?). But the reality is far from funny. This theft has a cost: not just to us, but to the many independent businesses trying to make ends meet.
Think about it. For every block of cheese stolen, there’s a disruption to our service, a strain on our suppliers, and an impact on our bottom line. Hospitality is tough enough right now without playing hide-and-seek with criminals.
The Brie-lliant Question
So, dear reader, we’re left pondering. Do we:
1. Present our case to the police, complete with a cheese-tracking map and blurry bike photos?
2. Leave a passive-aggressive note: “Dear Criminals, we know where you live. Sincerely, the Cheese Avengers”?
3. Knock on doors, armed with a baguette, and demand justice?
Or do we ask you, the people of Harrogate, to help us make sense of this madness? Have you unknowingly purchased contraband cheese? (It pairs terribly with guilt, by the way.) Have you noticed shady figures peddling pilfered parmesan? Let us know.
Food for Thought
We get it. Times are hard. The cost of living is sky-high, and everyone’s feeling the squeeze. But stealing from local businesses isn’t the answer. Hospitality is a cornerstone of our community, and we need your support—not just to stay afloat but to thrive.
So, next time you see a suspicious cyclist with a backpack full of dairy, spare a thought for us and our lost brie. And remember: crime might pay, but cheese always costs.